Ok… Deep Breath and here we go. I want to share with you something that I know from experience and that is sometimes when you have been bullied frequently as a kid it can leave a lasting impression on you right into adult hood.
These are things that I have only shared with my wife but I think it’s time to let it out and maybe it will help others that are struggling. This will also give you some insight into what I want to dedicate my life as a chef to give it some meaning.
I don’t really know why or when exactly it all started, it’s been years of pushing it away but I didn’t know how to truly deal with it at the time, so I would just escape into my own dream world all the time and pretend I was in a movie. That’s where the desire to become an actor came from. Most of the stuff was pretty standard. Chased with objects mostly rocks, tricked into drinking urine and being chased with porno magazines which is quite messed up for a prepubescent kid. These things sucked yes, there was one point where it became the daily harassment show but nothing sticks more than a name which lasted what felt like an eternity and that name was “pillow puff”I will not go into the details of where it came form but it was bad trust me. I was the kid that didn’t want to inconvenience people so I just kept it to myself which I would like to advise against doing, things would have been so much better if I had just said something.
Now for the long term affects of being bullied and not dealing with it right away. I suck at confritation and my social skills still set me back to this day. I get sick when I’m in small groups and I panic, I’ll also look for every way out of social engagements. I’ve missed so many opportunities because of it. I also have this bad habit of shutting down and not letting people in which is the worst cause I even do it to my wife but luckily she calls me out on it. All things that I’m going to work on because they are getting in the way of me having a full happy life.
I hope that with this cookbook I can set a few things right and give myself some of that time back that was wasted being scared, with your help of course. Hopefully it will also be the foundation to my program where I help others who have been bullied or who just feel like they never fit in to find something to be passionate about like cooking and film has done for me. When I’m cooking or editing video everything just melts away. It’s funny I mentioned before that small groups make me sick but if you put me in front of a huge crowd or a camera I’m right at home, it’s weird but there’s this high you get that can be measured.
Remember if you need someone to talk to, it doesn’t have to be about cooking and you’re afraid to talk to someone you know, you can send me a message on my cooking page www.facebook.com/bringhometheflavour and I will get to you as soon as I can.
Please share this message, hopefully my little story will help someone speak up before it’s too late and if you see someone being bullied don’t ignore it. I’m guilty of that myself over the years and I feel terrible about it every day.
Below is the link to my cookbook, it’s only $2.50 Canadian and it will help me achieve what I have been talking about.